We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
