I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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