I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
