you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
