Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
