using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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