On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
