those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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