Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
