He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
