I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
