I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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