i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Two words: nipple clamps
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