yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
