But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
