she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She needs sedatives and a leash
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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