for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
