craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
