Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
