I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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