she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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