I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
