And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
