About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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