Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
