mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
