Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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