Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
