Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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