I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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