idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
