After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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