I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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