just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
