loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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