Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
