The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
