Do you still have your period?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
me + whiskey = a bad person
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
