Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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