is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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