I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
