you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
