i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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