don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
