I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
