That's when you crack a 10am beer
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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