Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
