And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
