Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
