she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
