No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
