So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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