Non-Jews are for practice
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
